Adrenalin junkie with no soul

Lies make it better
Lies are forever
Lies to go home to
Lies you wake up to
Lies from the alter
Lies make you falter
Lies keep your mouth fed
Lies till your death bed
Lies

Inside an office, a fallen angel
A smiling Buddha with snake eyes
Creates the latest trends
And i just cant pretend
Dont call me your friend

(Billy Talent)

I found away
Over the fear and through the flames
I'm diving in, don't follow me
Stay right here, I'll be back for you someday
I found away
It'd be best if you just stayed
It's not safe, don't follow me
I found away
I found away

(Alkaline Trio)

Serotonin chock oh yeah :D "You're like... like an adrenalin junkie with no soul!!"

I had a good time yeah. Great even.
As I said. Don't want you to go.
You might be the only one who understands who I am.
Who gets me.

I want to go there now. Such a longing. Unbearable.
One year.

A perfect summer's day

If he wrote a story, why would he excuse himself? the quintessence of Auster is the authorship of the story, puns and wordplay fooling you into believing this or that happened in reality when it all really was a dream, maybe even a fictional dream, a.k.a a dream within a story. think if i could further the plotline with sheer mindpower!!

Our thoughts are the ink we write the story of our life with. So think about what you think.

Or don't. Fuck I'm starting to get so annoyed at work. At all those people being rude, whining about shit, not being patient. I mean they can see with their own eyes we have a thousand things to deal with. Of course, the customer is always right, but we have a saying at our workplace, "don't underestimate stupid people in large groups". When you go to a restaurant, you want to have a good time right? So why be an outright asshole and ruin it for everyone? Workin 13 hours straight isn't the easiest in that stressful environment.

moody electronica, so chill. like yesterday. lost in a reverie. seriously, yesterday was a great day. woke up early, went to the gym for an hour, then straight to the beach, sunbathing, swimming in the ocean. then buy thai food on the way home, train to g, and chiiillll... feels good. such a beautiful place to be, in a dreamstate, where everything is beautiful, where everything is connected. where you don't have to be anyplace else, just enjoy the music and the moment. It's what I live for: MUSIC.

I wanna taste the breeze of every great city

If life is a highway, I'm drunk at the wheel...

Deathbed by Relient K
Rediscovered Say Anything too. Really intelligent lyrics, love it.
Here's a taste for yah.

Admit it!
Despite your pseudo-bohemian appearance
And vaguely leftist doctrine of beliefs
You know nothing about art or sex
That you couldn’t read in any trendy New York underground fashion magazine
Prototypical non-conformist
You are a vacuous soldier of the thrift store Gestapo
You adhere to a set of standards and tastes
That appear to be determined by an unseen panel of hipster judges (bullshit)
Giving a thumbs up or thumbs down to incoming and outgoing trends and styles of music and art
Go analog baby, you’re so post-modern
You’re diving face forward into a antiquated path
It’s disgusting, its offensive, don’t stick your nose up at me

Yeah, what do you have to say for yourself
Whoah, whoah, whoah, whoah
Yeah, what do you have to say for yourself
Whoah, whoah, whoah, whoah

You spend your time sitting in circles with your friends
Pontificating to each other
Forever competing for that one moment of self-aggrandizing glory
In which you hog the intellectual spotlight
Holding dominion over the entire shallow pointless conversation
Oh, we’re not worthy
When you walk by a group of quote-unquote normal people
You chuckle to yourself patting yourself on the back as you scoff
It's the same superiority complex
Shared by the high school jocks who made your life a living hell
And makes you a slave to the competitive capitalist dogma
You spend every moment of your waking life bitching about

Yeah, what do you have to say for yourself
Whoah, whoah, whoah, whoah
And I say yeah, what do you have to say for yourself
Whoah, whoah, whoah, whoah

Cause I’m proud of my life and the things that I have done
Proud of myself and the loner I’ve become
You’re free to whine, it will not get you far
I do just fine, my car and my guitar

Proud of my life and the things that I have done
Proud of myself and the loner I’ve become
You’re free to whine, it will not get you far
I do just fine, my car and my guitar, yeah

Well let me tell you this, I am shamelessly self-involved
I spend hours in front of the mirror, making my hair elegantly disheveled
I worry about how this album will sell
Because I believe it will determine the amount of sex I will have in the future
I self medicate with drugs and alcohol to treat my extreme social anxiety

You are a faker (admit it)
You are a fraud (admit it)
Yeah, you’re living a lie (hey) living a lie (hey) you’re life is living a lie
You don’t impress me (admit it)
You don’t intimidate me (admit it)
Why don’t you bow down, get on the ground, walk this fucking plank (yeah!)

Yeah, what do you have to say for yourself
Whoah, whoah, whoah, whoah
And I say yeah (what do you..)

Proud of my life and the things that I have done
Proud of myself and the loner I’ve become
You’re free to whine, it will not get you far
I do just fine, my car and my..
Guitar, guitar go!

I drift drift drift drift drift yeah
I drift drift drift drift drift oh yeah

And I am done with this
I wanna taste the breeze of every great city
My car and my guitar
My car and my guitar
So you'll come to be, made of these, urges unfulfilled
Oh no no no no no
When I'm dead I'll rest
When I'm dead I'll rest, lay still

Yes that was a song. :) So fucking brilliant. Read it twice, just to make sure you got the self-irony of it all.

The Joker. The ultimate emissary of chaos. If I was a bad guy, this would be it. "What doesn't kill you, only makes you more mad." Lunatic laughter, the whole nonchalant non-planning, "others make plans, I don't", the way he gets everyone to play against eachother. His "social experiment", his crime genius, his brilliance... It's hard to not admire this guy. And hard to not fall flat for Heath Ledger. He excels, he's brilliant, he's the villain of the year. The interesting thing about how he interprets the Joker, is that there's still vulnerability and childishness shining through. Like the Joker only is a runaway kid, scared and insecure but hiding behind a wall of madness. One of the best Joker-moments was the Joker as a nurse. Inside, I was laughing my ass off.
Another thing I found interesting about the new Batman movie (yes I'm a comic-book geek) was the story with the White and Dark Knight, a.k.a Harvey and Batman. Each of them just as just, fighting the criminality of Gotham, one showing his face, the other masked. Both symbols of hope. I really don't think Harvey died in the end, wouldn't Harvey Two-Face be the villain for next movie? We'll see when it comes out, but I really can't wait. Batman Begins was better, with a more detailed and thought-provoking storyline, this storyline was a little bit too much nice explosions. But nothing beats the Joker. And nothing beats Christian Bale. He's the one.

Castles in the air

har spelat så sjukt mkt old-school hp nu att ögonen blöder. broken four. förlåt att jag inte har en kalender och glömmer bort er, men verkligheten är en helt annan här borta i ystad. jag jobbar, jag sover, jag äter. jag umgås med familjen. spelar hp. kollar på svampbob. pretty much it. oh. and i read. alot.
i even forget who i am sometimes.
todays literary feature would be from hp7. just finished re-reading it. and some of it still doesn't make sense. it all solves itself all too neatly and some deaths are just pathetically unnecessary. like hedwig's, lupin's and tonk's. why did they die but for the sake of terrible deaths to scar harry, to weigh on his conscience. ive outgrown the characters, they were my saviours at age nine, ten. but now, they dont give me much anymore. i need another sort of character. i need the byronic hero, an antihero. harry is too good, too brave, too solve-all-this-and-live-happily-ever-after. which he does, which i am glad he does, but still everything falls too perfectly into place. narrow escapes dont even give chills and stomach ache anylonger, cause you know he will win. Still I'm enchanted beyond measure by the magic of that world, I'm still as transfixed as I was at nine years old. I still want to live in it. Rather that than this. But the grass is always greener in make-belief. I'll have to make-do with the second best thing to wave-your-wand-magic.

Science separates and studies. It says, "I am not that..."
Magic joins and communicates. It says "I am all that and more..."

Castles in the air vanish in the midday sun.
Be still and gather strength, for there is much to be done.
You are the Art, the Message, and the Song.

Take responsibility for your dreams and make them come true

About dreaming, hopes and trying to find enough money to finance a start. Because it’s all about the beginning.
Almost everything is about money, I mean, you have to work real hard to get where you want to be. It’s not even about talent, which sucks, it’s about money and contacts. And that makes the game so much harder to play, doesn’t it.
People laugh when I tell them what I want to be. Not as in a humourous laugh, more like a pitying snort, saying ”oh honeypie, I meant what you wanted to work as, no writers get any money!” And there it is again, the never ceasing-to-be curse that will follow me forever. I’d love to be able to support myself, but as it looks now, that would be close to impossible. I can’t work a full-time job when I’m in school and without a full-time job, I wouldn’t be able to have an apartment of my own.

I'm writing again! I love it. the ideas forming into words, running down my fingers into the keyboard, taking shape and taking meaning. it's time to get to work, i'll have to practise writing every day, even if it only is a little, even if it only is a sentence a day. Those who doesn't believe will never get their dream. I am getting mine, and nothing has ever felt more empowering and reassuring than knowing that next year, I'll, somehow, be off to Japan to study japanese, journalism and literature. I'll find ways to finance it and I'll even work a part-time job if that's what it takes. And I'll not leave once i got there. tokyo will be my home as a freelance journalist and writer. but the dream might change, you never know.

as it is now. I believe. Stop being so negative, stop handling money like it burns, start taking responsibility for your dreams instead of telling yourself it's impossible. Attitude and willpower is almost everything, at least more than you think.