It Wasn't Me

i wish i was more patient. could wait for things to unravel by themselves. not have to push and pull and make a fool. make a mess. provoke. tensions. potential disaster. drink too much and just go insane. sooner or later im ending up in a mental facility. humiliation is free. i was stone drunk, it isn't clear. it doesn't count, cause i don't care. the years transform my memories. haze and blur and disappears. will this be a haze eventually too?