Two Smoking Barrels

He's just an asshole and I can't really see why I was attracted to him... Well, I see it, but don't want to acknowledge it. Anyway. Nothing is ever going to happen and I just have to stop reading things into what he does and says, nothing good can come out of that. It's me building stuff up in my head and then getting heartbroken over reality. It's just not happening again. Please, it cannot happen again. Reality is, he is not interested, no matter how cute he can be. Why do I have such a hard time living in reality. Why do I want to believe that some looks and some words mean more. They don't. Stop trying to convince yourself otherwise. It's not true. It's not real. The worst part is, I don't really want him, now because of rejection I'm just mad because he doesn't want me, I want retribution, revenge. I want him to want me just because he doesn't. It has nothing to do with feelings. Just inferiority and insecurity. Which is so ridiculous, honestly. Shut up. Go to bed, keep your head down, study hard, down your pints, and it's all going to be fine. You'll end up in the real world some day.