And you don't know Karate...

>>You like DMD (??), Audrey Hepburn, fangoria (??), Harry Houdini and Cocaine. You can't swim, you can't dance and you don't know karate. Face it! You're never gonna make it!>>
>>I don't wanna make it! I just want...>>

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OF9UB_xrhMI

If you ever felt...

ALONE..

REJECTED...

CONFUSED...

LOST...

ANXIOUS...

WRONG...

WRONGED...

UNCLEAN...

ANGRY...

ASHAMED...

CURIOUS...

USED...

Be prepared to feel...

REVENGE

FEEL THE ROMANCE

I just felt so at home. Sorry. Now I'm gonna write something serious. Peter Petrelli came from the future, to give a dying man the chance to see Manhattan from above. He flew.

I don't believe in destiny. I think we want to believe in it cause it feels kinda nice if everything was decided and we just had to follow that, like if we were destined to save the world.. Scary, but still, you know where you belong, where you have to go. Sometimes it's just difficult to decide what to choose, and always looking back, wondering "what if I had chosen that instead.."

Colours and sounds and tastes are only in the mind. Signals interpreted by the brain. What would the world be like for us without our senses? I mean, if colour isn't really colour, it doesn't exist in such, only a signal in our mind, what would an apple look like? No black no white either, would it be like in the Matrix? Just a completely empty space, or non-space, sorry, where nothing existed, not even time and space, just a nothingness?

I love scents. I know I always talk about it, can't help it, it just doesn't cease to amaze me what effect it has on me.

Failing maths and doing good in french. Well my HL subjects are the ones that matter to me. I understand maths, I just hate the time-pressure.

I was supposed to write something I thought about. Yeah. This is kinda like a diary, yeah? But still not, cause I can't really write like everything here. I don't know why, it just feels like if people read it... yeah nevermind.. but it's like there are secret rules, like everyone knows about them, and they state kinda that you can't just say or do whatever. Cause all that will affect the world in some way. So I just can't say whatever I want here. Maybe that would complicate life and relationships in a very unnecessary way. Let's just let things be as they are, right.. I wont mess with it, or you... Promise..

Some things I don't tell anyone. Don't think I can.

At the bottom of a plastic cup

+44 LYRICS

"Baby, Come On"

She's a pretty girl
She's always falling down
And I think I just fell in love with her
But she won't ever remember, remember

And I can always find her
At the bottom of a plastic cup
Drowning in drunk sincerity
A sad and lonely girl

Quit crying your eyes out
Quit crying your eyes out, and baby come on
Isn't there something familiar about me?
The past is only the future with the lights on
Quit crying your eyes out, baby

And she said, "I think we're running out of alcohol
Tonight I hate this fucking town
And all my best friends will be the death of me
But they won't ever remember, remember

So please take me far away
Before I melt into the ground
And all my words get used against me"
You sad and lonely girl

Quit crying your eyes out
Quit crying your eyes out, and baby come on
Isn't there something familiar about me?
The past is only the future with the lights on
Quit crying your eyes out, baby

Quit crying your eyes out
Quit crying your eyes out, and baby come on
Isn't there something familiar about me?
The past is only the future with the lights on
Quit crying your eyes out
Isn't there something familiar about me?
Quit crying your eyes out
The past is only the future with the lights on
So quit crying your eyes out, baby

Opinion column being ugly duckling. Sommetimes I feel. Then I starve. Tired of games. Why don't people ask. Don't you want to come in, come along? Sometimes I don't feel. I just wanna be nice. Want everyone to be happy, if I can make someone happy, that's the best sensation I know. Sometimes there's just too much tramisghet, I mean it's fun and all that, but sometimes it's too much. You need both. You need the fun as much as the closeness you can get in a serious discussion. But sometimes words are just too much. Am I insecure or something? I just wanna hug everyone all the time.

Argh. Scents make me so weak. Knäsvag. Certain scents trigger back memories of feelings. And songs. Certain songs make me relive periods in my life when I listened to that music. Like Regina Spektor and Panic reminds me of when I started PDP. Songs from the O.C remember me of after christmas break. And Want a lover I don't have to love remember me of when I was just really destructive and messed up everything.

To be or not to be, that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles

Skådespelets syfte att spegla samtiden: to hold as 'twere the mirror up to nature; to show virtue her feature, scorn her own image

Omg, omg, heroes is soooo goooooood...

Moments

I saw this sikh at the train station. He looked like some fairytale arabic sultan or something, with a large, purple turban and long, white beard. Strange thing was, when I looked at first, he was just standing there, gazing around, I closed my eyes for a moment, and when I looked again, he was gone. Disappeared in the blink of an eye. A borderline between fairytale and reality. Surely there was some reasonable explanation, but I choose to believe in the more magical one, makes life interesting. There was this other moment, I was biking around in Malmö and went past a church. Outside I saw a bride and her groom, standing there with a priest. Just the three of them, no guests, nothing. And that church is quite big. There I was, turned around, thought it was a kinda private moment. Just an ordinary day for me, a very special for them, and I got a glance into their lives.
First real wushu training today. It's amazing. The sifu is amazing. You are so exhausted after training it's insane. I could barely walk home. As I did walk home, I looked into peoples' eyes. Emptiness. They were like robots walking along. An old couple stopped outside a shop, looked at the chocolates disrtibuted in the window, turned away and continued walking along. Just dull emptiness. Taking their routine walk, at the same time every day. You could see it, like they had scheduled this walk, and just did it for the sake o following ett inrutat schema. Tragiskt hur vissa människor bara ger upp sina ambitioner, ger upp livsglädjen och blir bittra och instängda. Hallå, kom ut lite istället, bjud på er själva! Carpe diem, som ara säger.
Maths is kinda interesting now, cause I like algebra. I'm trying to be positive about it. Was at the economics lesson even though I don't take economics. It wasn't fun. Not my thing. I'm dreams and fairytales, not facts and statistics. I'm probably gonna be one of those eccentric, weird, old ladies with lots of cats, living by themselves, when I grow old. Gonna have like loads of Indian stuff, draperier och kuddar, ljus och rökelse överallt, lotusblommor flytande i stora skålar, mjuka mattor, stora, mysko växter, massa fruktskålar och oljelampor, ljuslyktor i taket, värmeljus överallt. Warm, cuddly and fairytale-like.
I like collecting moments, like watching people and how they behave in different situations, how they expect you to respond. I wish I could put more smiles on peoples' faces. Take away the emptiness, help them fill their lives with meaning.
Mamma o Tore ska skiljas. Det som jag inte kunde säga innan. Men ja. Bäst så antar jag. Såg Tore gråta för första gången någonsin. Tänk er att jag bott med honom i 16 år och inte sett honom gråta någon gång. I alla fall. Var och tränade med mum på gymmet i Y. Nice, nice. Detta var sändagen då alltså. Sen hem till hennes nya lya, ett ställe hon lånar av nån. Jag hade mini-spa med spirulina o rosmarin bad (hehe, alger i badet är fett nice), ansiktsmask och bodyscrub. So härligt. Hade det jättetrevligt med mamma o S senare, käkade lite, satt och pratade ute på den vackra uteplatsen, skrattade tills magen gjorde ont. Det är härliga stunder.
Vill träffa Sara för en fika i veckan, måste ringa.

I wish I could change the ways of the world

Watched some dodgy anime show on tv. "Perfect blue" or something it's called. It was actually good, real good, just confusing, cause she kept waking up in her bed so you didn't know if she had dreamed or no, and then there were like a ghost figure of her running around all the time, psyching her. So you didn't know if she was going insane or what. TV2 had this anime night from like 22.35 - 06.35 or something like that. It was awesome! Haha. Never have anime on regular tv normally. Oh well, pokemon and that stuff. I'd really like them to re-run Sailor Moon, I love that show!
Was at Angel's place first. Met like people from her class. They were nice. So good to seem Matilda and her again, M is like a happy-pill. She has this special talent of making you optimistic, of making you laugh at life. I love her. Really really much. And it feels so bad that we're not as much in touch as we were, and that we're no longer as close as we were, cause that friendship we had was special. Don't think I'll ever have the same again. If you grow up with someone, that is special.
So gotta catch a train home soon, at 10 something, I'm gonna try out Wushu (kung-fu)! I'm excited, what if this is like totally my thing? Can use it as CAS aswell, just have to find the money to pay the term costs. "Find" ehehe.

In my iPod right now is Mika, Lily Allen and Linkin Park.

Mika - Happy Ending

This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending,
No hope, no love, no glory,
No happy ending
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever,
Then live the rest of our life
But not together.

Wake up in the morning,
Stumble on my life,
Can't get no love,
Without sacrifice.
If anything should happen,
I guess I wish you well,
Hmm a little bit of heaven,
with a little bit of hell.

This is the hardest story,
That I've ever told,
No hope or love or glory,
Happy endings,
Gone, for ever more,
I, feel as if I'm wasting,
And I've, wasted every day.

This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending,
No hope, no love, no glory,
No happy ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever,
We live the rest of our life,
But not together.

Two o'clock in the morning,
Something's on my mind,
Can't get no rest,
Keep walking around.
If I pretend that nothing
Ever went wrong,
I can get to my sleep,
I can think that we just carried on.

This is the hardest story,
That I've ever told,
No hope or love or glory,
Happy Endings,
Gone for ever more,
I, feel as if I'm wasting,
And I've, wasted every day.

[Oh I] This is the way you left me,
[Feel as if I'm wasting]I'm not pretending,
No hope, no love no glory,
No happy ending
[And I've] This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever,
[Wasted every day] And live the rest of our life,
But not together.

Little bit o love.

Lily Allen - Everything's just wonderful

Do you think, everything, everyone, is going mental,
It seems to me that it's spiraling outta control and it's inevitable,
Now don't you think,
This time is yours, this time is mine,
Its temperamental,
It seems to me, we're on all fours,
Crawling on our knees,
Someone help us please

Oh Jesus Christ almighty,
Do I feel alright? No not slightly,
I wanna get a flat I know I can't afford it,
It's just the bureaucrats who won't give me a mortgage,
Well it's very funny cos I got your fucking money,
And I'm never gonna get it just because of my bad credit
Oh well I guess I mustn't grumble,
I suppose that's just the way the cookie crumbles.

[Chorus]
Oh yeah, I'm fine,
Everything's just wonderful,
I'm having the time of my life.

Don't you want something else,
Something new, than what we've got here,
Everything's Just Wonderful
And don't you feel it's all the same,
Some sick game and it's not insincere,
I wish I could change the ways of the world,
Make it a nice place
Until that day, I guess we stay,
Doing what we do
Screwing who we screw

Why can't I sleep at night,
Don't say it's gonna be alright,
I wanna be able to eat spaghetti bolognaise,
and not feel bad about it for days and days and days.
In the magazines they talk about weight loss,
If I buy those jeans I can look like Kate Moss,
Oh no it's not the life I chose,
But I guess that's the way that things go,

Hiro in New York

Heroes is sooo good. :D Glad att det började på "normal" tv, så jag kan se det. Hiro är bäst! :D Asball. Watching it made me wanna start drawing manga again, cause it's like comics-inspirated.
I don't know what I feel or want. Or think. Feel my fingers typing, moving over the keyboard, seeing the words, know they will be out there, for everyone to read. There was a time when I wanted to hide, I didn't want anyone to notice me, or know me. I became a ghost. Then I got so depressed (understatement) cause of the lack of love and companionship. So I tried another path. I wanted to be loved. By everyone. Be seen and popular and stuff. I messed up, got the wrong kind of attention, it all turned so negative. (Reminded me that I can put up the Sherpa's speech now) Anyways, negative is the keyword. Many still dislike me today for that, everything I've done, and everything that happened. Now I don't know where I stand. I don't want either. I want to write. I want to read. I want to draw.

The Sherpa's speech:
The Earth is moving. Did you feel that? Everything. All the time. Dimensions we can't even see. Everything is evolving. Turtle, you're a dove.
Turtle: That's cool. Can I hit that, Sherp? Thanks.
Eric: You afraid of getting busted?
The Sherpa: Busted? I'm entrusted, man. I don't steal. I heal. We're not getting stoned. We're getting honed. My probation officer's one of my best customers. I'm a prisoner. I'm a prisoner of, uh, war. War on drugs. It's all so negative, man. I mean, the Man's most positive positive-tive is a nega-tive. It's a mega-nega-tive. Right? [shouts] Viking Quest! Let them be low. We are getting high. We're not getting fucked down. We're getting fucked up.

Pure love on that one. Nightie, Sherp!

Comme fânent les roses...

Meaning of life. We all make our own life meaningful. By doing things we love, make us feel good, happy, enjoying things, fulfilling. Animals and plants have their meaning programmed into their DNA, they know exactly what their purpose here is, and they fulfill it, every day. Maybe the hidden part, the one we haven't been able to decrypt yet, of our DNA is the humans "meaning of life". We seems to have lost it somewhere in evolution. Or maybe we were given a choice. Choose your own destiny. As I see it, there is no "purpose" to universe, life and everything. It's just a bunch of events, chances taken and chances lost, random, and now we're here. And we're demanding so many answers from outside when we really have them ourselves. If you look at a life. You have so and so much time. Varsågod. Do what you want with it. Onlly you yourself who can decide how you want to spend that time, purpose or not. That is the meaning. You choose your own meaning. Living realising this, or living, thinking you are "forced" to do stuff cause someone told you to do it, or every one else does it, why should I be different. Conscious choosing. Everything you do and say affect your surroundings. We go around thinking we are meaningless, what we do doesn't make any difference in the large sense, we can't affect the world. It does all the difference! Cause if you start thinking, then others might start thinking, and we're on the way to solving our environmental problems or finding a sustainable way to make poverty history. Make your choices. Live.

Go around, seeking happiness, buying new things, getting another job, moving to a new apartment. True happiness lies in making other people happy.

Quelqu'un M'a Dit - Carla Bruni

On me dit que nos vies ne valent pas grand chose,
Elles passent en un instant comme fanent les roses.
On me dit que le temps qui glisse est un salaud que de nos chagrins il s'en fait des manteaux pourtant quelqu'un m'a dit...

Que tu m'aimais encore,
C'est quelqu'un qui m'a dit que tu m'aimais encore.
Serais ce possible alors ?

On me dit que le destin se moque bien de nous
Qu'il ne nous donne rien et qu'il nous promet tout
Parais qu'le bonheur est à portée de main,
Alors on tend la main et on se retrouve fou
Pourtant quelqu'un m'a dit ...

Mais qui est ce qui m'a dit que toujours tu m'aimais?
Je ne me souviens plus c'était tard dans la nuit,
J'entend encore la voix, mais je ne vois plus les traits
"Il vous aime, c'est secret, lui dites pas que j'vous l'ai dit"
Tu vois quelqu'un m'a dit...

Que tu m'aimais encore, me l'a t'on vraiment dit...
Que tu m'aimais encore, serais ce possible alors ?

Can we live a life of peace and happiness?

Travailler plus pour gagner plus pour acheter plus pour polluer plus? Cela rappelle la chanson d'Alain Souchon:

Oh la la la vie en rose
Le rose qu'on nous propose
D'avoir les quantités d'choses
Qui donnent envie d'autre chose
Aïe, on nous fait croire
Que le bonheur c'est d'avoir
De l'avoir plein nos armoires...

Basicly saying work more, to get more money to buy more things, to pollute more. And that we think we will find happiness in things, in overflowing homes. Read this article about Sarkozy, another one from the one before that was so difficult and boring. This one you could actually understand, and I found these beautiful lyrics, la vie en rose. That's a movie aswell, about Edith Piaff, I'm gonna check that out when I have time.

Met one of mum's friends in town. Got really surprised, like what-are-you-doing-here? Apparently she's gonna read some course in Lund now, said we should grab a coffee or something someday. I really like her. Love even. She's really warm, a wonderful person, she smiles with all her face, you feel so welcome and loved. To me, she is the ultimate mother. Walking sunshine. Yes, we definitely have to go fika-ing, I would love that.

Breaking Benjamin. Listened to them today, all day. Beautiful lyrics, find myself in them.

(parts of "Until the End" - Breaking Benjamin)
Why give up, why give in?
It's not enough, it never is.
So I will go on until the end.

I've lost my way.
I've lost my way, but I will go on until the end.

The final fight I'll win

"Unknown soldier" by Breaking Benjamin

Border line,
Dead inside.
I don't mind,
Falling to pieces.
Count me in, violent
Let's begin, feeding the sickness.
How do I simplify,
Dislocate - the enemy's on the way.

Show me what it's like
To dream in black and white,
So I can leave this world tonight.

Full of fear,
Ever clear.
I'll be here,
Fighting forever.
Curious,
Venomous,
You'll find me
Climbing to heaven.
Never mind,
Turn back time.
You'll be fine - I will get left behind.

Holding on too tight.
Breathe the breath of life,
So I can leave this world behind.

It only hurts just once.
They're only broken bones.
Hide the hate inside.

Oh.

Forever ... one
I'll be fine

Holding on too tight.
Breathe the breath of life,
So I can leave this world behind.

(parts of "You fight me" - Breaking Benjamin)

I don't know what I want to be yet.
But I can show that I need to see this.
No time for lies and empty fights.
I'm on your side.

Can we live a life of peace and happiness?
I don't think so.

No denying I am scared to lose the things I love.
I'm in control.

Everyone is waiting here for everyone.
Leave me alone.

Outside of your own mind

Several currently well-known people have attended it, among whom are actor Max von Sydow and several high ranking politicians.

Detta är då min skola. Najs. Eller "status" som j sa.

Rise Against - Alive and well (don't like the actual song that much, but the lyrics are beautiful)

now's the time
to rearrange your life
live for something
outside of your own mind
we all dream
the same dream everynight
to burn the world that you call civilized

alive and well
i live to be alive
i live to always strive
for something more
alive and well
i'll never understand
the who, what, why or when
of you tonight...

Läser biology. ECM is the ToK of biology, the extra cellular matrix tells the cell where it is in time and space, it reminds the cells of who they are.

Money is the law, the religion, the god. I don't have either of these things, does that make me a criminal?

Pimp my baby, reklam för bebiskläder, är inte det att ta uttrycket pimp lite väl långt? Just asking...

Open up your mind and then open up your heart.

I smiled and tried to mean it, to make myself let go

Always dreaming of being somewhere else. Being something more than I am. Always doubting the choices made. What are we doing here?

(Timbuktu - Ett brev)
Jag sa idag, vänta inte det är redan sent
Gå mot strömmen, ändra reglerna i deras spel.

(Rise Against - Worth dying for)
We've been battered so hard that
We don't feel anymore

Take me
From this world
Save me
What if we
All die young

(Rise Against - Roadside)
And tell me how I'm supposed to feel,
When all these nightmares become real;
'Cause I don't know

And I don't know how we separate the lies here from the truth;
And I don't know how we woke up one day and somehow thought we knew
exactly what we're supposed to do.

So leave me at the roadside,
And hang me up and out to dry.

(Mika - Any other world)
In any other world
You could tell the difference
And let it all unfurl
Into broken remnants

Smile like you mean it
And let yourself let go

'Cause it's all in the hands of a bitter, bitter man
Say goodbye to the world you thought you lived in
Take a bow, play the part of a Lonely, lonely heart
Say goodbye to the world you thought you lived in
To the world you thought you lived in

I tried to live alone
But lonely is so lonely, alone
So human as I am
I had to give up my defenses

So I smiled and tried to mean it
To make myself let go

(The Beatles - Yesterday)
Yesterday,
All my troubles seemed so far away,
Now it looks as though they're here to stay,
Oh, I believe in yesterday.

As always it's the music that inspires me. KuddLudd if you're reading this, you got to check out Rise Against. They're amazing, and if you like My Chem and Less than jake, you're gonna love them. :)

Jobbade på Världsbutiken, took a train back and forth, I have T-plus now, waow. Makes for easy train-hopping.
Läste ut Medea, så nu ska jag börja skriva lite notes som kan förbereda mig till den comparative essay som vi ska skriva i A1. Hittade ett tema jag vill påpeka i dramat, inte kvinna vs man, utan något mer generellt. You'll see, you'll see... Ååh saknar Gollum jättemycket. Måste bjuda över Sara på ett Lord of the Rings marathon...