Guy no1. I go to the gym so I can build up strength and beat the crap out of him when he tries some shit when he’s drunk. He’s always fighting when he’s drunk; he’s always confessing when he’s drunk. If he tries to fight and beat the crap out of me, I want to give back. Then he has no one but himself to blame. Also, I want to show him I can be fit and not just the slob that he’s always known me as. “She doesn’t eat.” “Well, it doesn’t show.” It annoys me that he doesn’t stay in touch – I have this need of hearing from him every now and then. I need to know he still sees something in me, because he was the first person who ever loved me, who would have done anything for me. I have this need to toy with him, which I had no idea of until I said it out loud. A bad person that might make me, but I love to drag him back and forth, play a game. But I love him, I really do.
Guy no2. I go to the gym so I can become fit like the girls he is always talking about. The ones with super fit bodies, tight as hell. I want to be tight as hell. Maybe I will never be, but this way, I’ll be tighter. It annoys me that he doesn’t stay in touch – did I really mean nothing to him? Or is it because I knew of his darkest secrets? Does he still think I have a crush on him? Strange way for me to show it, were that the case, by not talking to him at all. Mostly, I just feel angry at him. He’s a jerk, a fucking twat, if he fucking thinks I would want someone like him. I just want his friendship. But obviously, he’s too busy to give it. Egocentric wanker.
Mostly, I go to the gym for myself, for better confidence, to look fit while feeling like a million. I hope this will continue, even after I lose my PT Patsy Stone.
