No matter where life takes us

So another week has begun... The bigger picture is kinda hard to see right now, even if I try to plan. Only worked 3 hours today, but yesterday and the day before that I worked 10 hours straight, with only one short break. Running around and standing up the whole time - my feet and my shoulders are in a pretty sorry state. Anyway, what does it matter. Paycheck please. Tue - work. Wed - hope I'm free to go into Malmö and do some shopping, otherwise work. Thu - Sara <3. American Gods finished now, like more than 1000 pages... Mists of Avalon started, an even thicker brick, but a very entertaining one. Rereading it in english since I loved it so much when I read it in swedish when I was like 12.

The beauty lies in making your way not back to what it was before, but forward into new uncharted regions.

Hope all of you reading this know that there is someone out there who truly loves you exactly as you are, for being yourself, no matter what. Hold on to them, and don't let them say goodbye.

Hope is the thing with feathers

You know the world can see us, in a way that's different from who we are...

Gerard:

right before I was to go on stage I washed my face in the sink, and I look into the mirror, and say to myself "you're still not cool". that was the best revelation ever. that I'm never gonna be cool and so everyone out there trying to be cool should just stop. cause you're never gonna be cool.

we were the kids in the back, wearing black, hanging out by ourselves.

a lot of people think they can solve their problems with anti-depressants. but that really strips people of who they are. all the depressions, all the failures, that's what makes you you. there's a lot of drugs out there that will take that away from you.

Pete:

people love us for the wrong reasons and hate us for the wrong reasons. that's ok. for people to love and hate us. and care. haha.

fame has made me paranoid personally... you feel like you're never really by yourself.

Nikki Sixx:

That's the thing about artists: that we just can't stop being creative.

Emily Dickinson:

Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all,

And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.

I've heard it in the chilliest land
And on the strangest sea;
Yet, never, in extremity,
It asked a crumb of me.

Everyone thinks they're original

They all do the same things. They may think their sins are original, but for the most part they are petty and repetetive.

I don't know where to go, what's the right thing. I want my own dream. Ok, ok. I see the points. I see what some may think or not think. And I try to not care. Heck, who doesn't try to not care about what people think, thoughts that you know in your heart are wrong, misjudges. Thoughts you wish you could turn around, show them that it is not what they think.

More and more responsibility at work, it's like easing into it.. I just hope I will manage to find a replacer the days I need to be away. I thought of skipping Hultsfred. But then I realized, if I don't go to a festival this summer, I am gonna go crazy. And the lineup is fucking good. I'm just there for the music this time. Music, music, always music.

What if you were a god, could manipulate time and space and walk "backstage". In American Gods, a storm is coming: a battle between the ancient gods of old from every culture imaginable (Odin, Horus, Giant Serpent and so on) and the gods of the Modern Age (Television, Lawenforcement, Economy). It will be interesting to read about...

Go on believing it was all a lie

You judge without seeing the whole picture, hand out wrongs in blindness, sit on your high horse and laugh down at the servants at your feet. Or am I getting this tale wrong, the wrong ends, the wrong means, the wrong reasons for the right thing or the right reasons for the wrong thing? I'll keep on twisting words for pleasure and hide inside my hood of music, I never speak up, but this time I just had to. Why don't I speak up? Well firstly, I don't take pleasure in judging others, telling them what they did wrong, what they should change. I believe everyone can take care of who they are, take resonsibility for their actions. Or maybe not everyone can? Secondly, who am I to judge others anyway? Thirdly, judging others, telling them this or that, is just pathetic. Of course one is free to speak ones mind, whether someone hurt you or not, but keep the accusations out. Keep the moral cake out. Stuff it down your own throat, please, I don't want it. Our morals are pretty far from one another anyway. And if you tell me all this, maybe you never knew me. Which would justify my feeling that you never saw who I truly was.

Did you forget that I was even alive?
Did you forget everything we ever had?

Cigarettes are soothing. True friends are soothing. Movies, laughs, candy, popcorn. It wont be long till the summer's gone. My life is an open road. Where I go from here, is an enigma. But all you phonies out there, go on seeing yourself on top of a piedestal, go on live your perfect lives, you have no idea what you are missing...

I'm in love with a fairytale

Even though it hurts... I don't care if I loose my mind...

Do you know what I really want? I want to walk into a crowded room, see the hottest guy I've ever seen in my entire life, a guy who makes my heart speed up like mad, and think "there he is, the man I'm going to marry" and then get him and live happily ever after. That is precisely what I am longing for. Butterflies, a feeling, something. But my heart is empty.

Except for family then. Family is always first. I love my sisters above anything. I tell them that every chance I get. And I kiss mom and tell her how amazing she is. And how proud I am to be part of this family. This unique, weirdo, chaotic, magical family.

This life I lead now is pretty sweet. Apart from the mistakes I make at work, which are murder. Sometimes I get the feeling that I'm like a chihuahua trying to trample water in the middle of the Pacific. I have barely any free days now. So many working days. It's kinda stressful.

I have no money on my cell phone, so everyone writing me, I am not ignoring you. I just can't be bothered to refill. And yes, I am very lazy these days, don't do more than I have to. I blame it on work. I blame it on being tired and having to rest. And I blame it on my escapist-loving mind which makes me stay in bed all day reading or waste my nights in front of movies. Speaking of movies, 17 again was a pretty decent movie. Zac Effron is so nice to look at...