Do you like the picture? It is a portrait of Sponge Bob made in paint by my adorable little sister Ester.
Playing final fantasy x all day long, all night long has been a wonderful escape. Until I realised; this is not at all my cup of tea. In fact it's more like a cup of bile, my impatience stops me from going any further. I don't have the mind for strategic fights or long training/levelling sessions. I don't have the patience to run around and fight monsters just so I can get better and better until I have to face a near unbeatable boss. It takes too long time. The only thing I enjoy about the game is the amazing sceneries, places, people, cultures, buildings, ships - the character development and the beautiful film sequences. Whenever it was time for a long film sequences I kept thinking "this is totally worth it". Then, after five Game Overs - not so motivated to continue. The thing is, it's kinda hard to get through without tips and walkthroughs, which make you feel like you are cheating. I would like more "cloister of trials"-like tasks, like mystery-solving. As it is now, I'm giving up somewhere deep in the Macalania woods, way too underlevelled to get through. Yeh, should have thought of levelling earlier, yep. Anyway, I figured I'll just hand it over to Magda - she'll get through for me. Then I can just sit and watch the film sequences and let her do all the dirty work (aka levelling). Nope, gaming is definitely not for me. And thinking that thought, that I'd just hand it over to someone else to solve made me realise something about myself. That's what I do - whenever something gets too hard, or I loose impatience, I just drop it, or hand it over to someone else. It's very very rare that I follow through. Don't know if it's a comfort thing, something written in my stars (Gemini is known for never following though on projects) or just my retardedness. We all have our own kinds of hang-ups (or retardness as I incorrectly call it). The New Year is approaching and tomorrow I'll write a nice little summary of the year. Sort of. As for how I will celebrate the new year, I have no idea. Right now, I just feel like staying here with my family. But I know, if I do that I'll regret not getting shitfaced with my friends instead. Oh well. Today is today. Today is loitering around in pyjamas.
Det vi omfamnar är skuggor och det vi älskar är drömmar
- Doktor Glas
