Slitna jeans, oversize vitt linne, kedjor, läder, high heels, Prince light in one hand, the bangles clanging. That is me. Slight disregard for rules, paranoia to the max, don't trust anyone, cynical. That is me. Some words get stuck in my mind. Like "I don't know if I am a player but I'm heading that way". Last time, spoken by a boy I was falling for. This time, spoken by me, by choice. I will have a hell of a time playing around. Because of all the people who have hurt me. I don't think they even know, I'm very quiet when I'm hurt. Instead of going drama on the hurters, I withdraw, like a wounded cheetah. And like I said to mom: "Kärlek är fucking skit. Killar är fucking dumma i huvet."
Looking for intense moments. More and more often, I wake up in the now, see things more clearly. And an interesting guy contacted me on facebook, I was mightily surprised, but in a good way. Party. What's the point of caring about people when so few care back. What's the point of looking for honest feelings when so many are playing. Right now, writing this, I feel so amazingly good about life. Life is a game. Who follows the rules. And who breaks them.
