Today was a tired day. But yesterday was a very good day. Am glad c and me started talking again.. some of the pain went away.. And my cutie sis was here, with her pink hair and her new piercing, and we saw Atonement. Amazing movie. the beginning is a bit "jaha", you dont quite get it, but the longer you watch, the clearer you see, and in the end, the brilliance of it all comes crashing down on you with the force of a tsunami. Googled some emo haircuts, wanna do my bangs pink/black/blond.
I've been drinking to the bottom of too many bottles
What truth I hoped I'd find there, I don't know
All the hurt and all the shame
No one else but myself to blame
For all the pain, nothing will ever be the same
And all I got is self-sorry, bad excuses
For poisoning myself to insanity
To get out of the crawling skin
With alcohol scented breath
She swallows me, takes hold of my body
She'd keep on drinking, like no tomorrow
All that's left, a reckless whore
drinking until collapse, I vomit
A walking destruction, she'd drag you down
Not by intention, but by recklessness
Big mouth, greedy eyes, she's thirsty
Got a hunger no one would ever be able to satisfy
The blackouts. I wake up and She is gone
Left in the wake of nausea, self-hate, anger and pain
It gets worse knowing She is Me, I am Her
Gone. Can't remember. What She, what We
did last night. Chaos.
Go to the places you never went before. Explore. Yourself. Others. Places.
Here are the songs inside my head. They're all increadibly beautiful, especially watch me bleed.
Los Angeles - Sugarcult
I want a girl, girl that won't talk back
And a job, job that gives me slack
And a car, car that won't break down
In the heat of Los Angeles
Want to go, go without a map
Far away, away, I won't get trapped
By the sound, a town, the sun beats down
In the heat of Los Angeles
One more holiday
I will not celebrate
I'm almost desperate
Cause I'm down, I'm down, I'm so beat down
This city's killing me
I want, I want, I want everything
This city's killing me
In the heat of Los Angeles
I want a love, love that won't hit back
Want sex, sex without a catch
Want a face, to trust, to feel, to lust
In the heat of Los Angeles
Want to FUCK, FUCK, FUCK this up
Gonna feel, feel, feel you up
Had enough, enough, enough's enough
In the heat of Los Angeles
This city's killing me
I want, I want, I want everything
This city's killing me
In the heat of Los Angeles
What has become of me?
I want, I want, I want everything
This city's killing me
(I want everything)
Come on, come on
It's alive and breathing
Come on, come on
Come alive today
Come on, come on
It's a heartless beating
The sun is burning down Los Angeles
Los Angeles
Los Angeles
A pistol to my temple - Scary kids scaring kids
if i flew into a mountain
burned myself to nothing
that would be something, would it be enough?
a pistol to my temple
pull the triger like its nothing,
that would be something but its never enough
this is all an illusion,
what do you take me for?
it makes no difference what i do for you
i would give you my life
but it just wont ever be enough
Watch Me Bleed - Scary kids scaring kids
The silence keeps it easy
keeps you safe for the moment.
As you're walking away
your foot steps get louder.
All you needed was time
now time will destroy us.
It will all be over and here we are
we're stuck inside this salted earth together.
You'll pierce my lungs
my limbs go numb
as my colors fade out.
You watch me bleed.
You watch me bleed.
I gave you everything to die with a smile
all you wanted was to live for a while
you took everything but it left you empty
you can't replace me, you can't.
