I'm finding a way to paradise, wont you come with me?
i wanna be a writer
write amazing stories
and make loads of money
i wanna be an explorer
travel all the places in the world
live in different cultures
i wanna celebrate new years eve at the eiffel tower with champagne and candles on a blanket, looking at the fireworks
i wanna swim with dolphins
beach parties
sleeping under the stars
feeling free
summer
biking, hiking, camping
ocean, waves, surfing
partying all night
new york with kudde, ice skating at midnight, hot chocolate
road trip through the US
apartment in Tokyo
crazy clubbing
we grow up, but never old
sometimes ive seen myself in the underworld
i could totally live there
if i wasnt such a coward
i could be a hooker and a porn star
drinking my fill every night
roxanne, you dont have to wear that dress tonight
the plastic fantastic beauty
Ecstasy
body shaking, and i know i need it
live for the moment
live or die, make your choice
here we go
festivals, music everywhere
live, on stage
the crowd
the feeling
uncontrollable
and we loose it, we loose it all
become so numb
can feel you there
why am i so fucked up
why do i not care
self destruction is my mantra
hit my head, get up again
and hit it again, and again
the scars tell my story
the worst on my soul
or on my brain
longing for more
i like it rough
i know this pretty rave girl...
maybe get to know her?
so fucked up, and still so normal
abnormalities in infinities
dancing, dancing
forgetting
my memory is the worst
so uncomplete, but still so filled up
with the most beautiful
the most amazing
and the most horrible
feels like i already lived a hundred life times
and i will live a hundred more
always write in a hype
in the moment
and in the next
i lost my thread
and the meaning of it all
once i found the meaning of life
only to loose it the next day
and then i found my way back
to self destruction
this is my life
this is everyday
a game
who else plays
who follows the rules
and who breaks them?
there's a party
im feeling naughty
but maybe i'll just pass out before i even get there
see if i care
none of that sassyness
so insecure
so scared, so lonely and lost
playing pretense
make-belief is my only strength
playing with minds and bodies
hyper
distressed
here?
now step, now step, now step
and - pop
im a maniac
a psycho
sorry if i messed something up
come see me sometime about it
rock that beat you dance
already feeling so much shit
i just don't know what to choose
life is choice, right
be whatever you wanna be
now?
yes. try or die failing
failure is my biggest fear
I just can't stop
im a freak
O.C.D
in my dr martens, in my converse
sorry my clothes piss some people off
kawaii desu ne
if i was a movie i would be
one of these obscure indie movies
about a happy little self destructive wannabe
searching for meaning and love
and taking ecstasy
dancing and dancing, while everyone else stands watching and laughing
look, who does she think she is
but she is lost, inside her mind
like a prison
but in the end
her wings show to be of finest quality
and she takes off, to her dreams
(see the beginning)
hit the road, all the bullshit
can't be ignored
no emotion
why is it so difficult
who understands
who can take it
who can't
never noticed. so amazing.
beauty is fading
it's suffocating
phone calls. not sure what to say
how to call and how to feel
is this even real?
how, tell me how, do i feel?
such a mess, such a mess
bloody memories
too young, too old, too fucking freakin cold
but i'll be there
to say...
never heard it, never saw it, never felt it
extra space
spacing out, a mouth moving
Anyway
lives keep on changing
unwinding, rewinding, forwarding, jumping
up and down, up and down, up it goes
sometimes im such a fool
think i know what im doing
but really so lost
please tell me to stop
whenever i talk too much, with a happy smile
tell me to stop
it's not real
what is?
me. you. this. whatever.
play me. play you. play this, play that. turn on
who can see me for what i really am
who can see you for what you really are
who who who
turn on. play it.
i love heavy riffs, disted, bass
drums. bass. bass.
where am i now?
i'll ask you what it's like to die
dreams are everything
but i've always had difficulty separating
dream from reality
and the more i hurt myself
the worse it gets
scents, soft, between sheets
pink lemonade
what can i do to make you all feel?
i wanna be there
for the whole world
and heal
i know what i wanna be when i grow up
i wanna be Cupid
make other people fall in love
and live happily ever after
a cute little Cupid with a bow
and arrows to set hearts afire
that would be my absolute desire
take me to the hot summer dream
i have this image of the perfect beach party in my mind
celebrate the summer
dive into the sea
celebrate the feeling, you and me
take me to the ocean
live a life supreme
take me to the hot hot hot hot summer dream
summer is so magical to me because
all of my worst and my best memories
my happiest and my unhappiest moments ever
have all taken place during summer
summer is my paradise and my freedom
flying. like peter taught wendy
over sideways and under
on a magic carpet ride
fantasy become reality
im talking about so many things at once
i confuse even myself
and just loosing it every minute
and it's fine
I'm not o-fucking kay
i think
i have no idea
a machine, running and running, like on duracel
eyes not telling anything
a (bomb, abomb)shell in a hitparade
masks behind masks, like a mirror reflecting itself in endless corridors
how can anyone get behind that?
wont you come with me?
please?
im heading down to the beach
chilling under the sun
there's a party tonight
when the feeling is right
we're dancing close to the sea
it got me feeling so free
tequila sunrise, give me more
til i collapse, im spinning
is there anyone else out there?
do you want more?
hard bass. badass.
never saw much in palm trees. coconuts are gross.
become so tired.
all i want to do
is to be more like me
one last time
many more times
forever and ever
X-rays wont show you much either
helpless hopeless
this is a sickness without medication
getting you lost in meditation
would you ever let that go
the last piece of sanity?
question me marks
not bothering to save myself
stop seeing me through coloured glasses
i am nothing
i am everything
so are you
so shut up.
nothing else matters.
