Twice Shy. Vampire-sleeze-pulse-upper. You know the words, so sing along for me baby. I love biting people and it's so exciting when people like being bitten and ask me to do it. Benjamin Buttons was a really good movie. Think to age backwards. I loved the part when he was young in India. The scenery. And when he ate caviar and drank vodka and fell in love in Russia. And Mike, the tattoo-artist and when they found the sub in the war. Everything in that movie was really beautiful. And I've found myself doing things I really shouldn't be doing, and looking at things I really shouldn't be looking at and thinking about stuff I really shouldn't be thinking about. Mint smoke high baby. Why can't I just be a robot? Study all day and night and not feel or think. Too late, I'm sure. I don't want to feel like I'm dying under the weight of the world. Why is it that I feel my purpose in this world is to make other people happy? Cause when I fail in that mission, I get so unhappy I just want to disappear. When you loose your purpose, you loose your way, and everything gets pointless. Going out of bed in the morning is not necessary when there is no purpose. Taste something on your lips. And I understand how people make new friends but for probably the first time in a really long time, I don't feel like I want to get to know new people. I have the people I need. And I can't be arsed to let anyone else in, because it's just so tedious letting people in. People who can hurt you. More often than not they will. And I don't want to need anyone. I don't want to hurt and get hurt. Because it sucks. I fell into pieces, and no one is falling into me. The sunsets and sunrises are so pretty and the stars are hurting my eyes, making them water, because no it is not tears. The sky it's not mine but I want it. Words get new meanings all the time. Making eyes. And right now I just want someone to hug me and never let go, just to keep my insides from falling out. Because it feels like I'm coming apart at the seams that were really badly sown in the first place.
