So many people live their lives detached from it all. Days filled with emptiness. Of course, on the outside it might not look empty at all. There might be good grades, or a really active social lives, or sports or parties and friends or all of it. Still, on the inside, they are detached from themselves, as if onlookers of their own life. And when they look back on they are amazed at everything they have done and gone through, and are amazed that they are still so empty after all that. Maybe they are looking for something they are unable to find. I don't know. What I do know, is there that there doesn't have to be a reason at all. Some people are just wired that way. People and places pass them by. Often very dear, but no matter how dear, still very far no matter how near. Maybe they need someone to really see them, maybe they need to feel special, wanted, needed and that they matter. Of course they know that people will mourn and miss them if they go, but the never-ending thirst for something more is stronger. And so they disappear. A boy at our school killed himself. Committed suicide. I don't know if this was the way he felt, detached, but I know many who do and many who did and are now gone.
We underestimate both ourselves and each other. To reach out and try and make a difference isn't that hard and still we don't do it. (will we in our swedishness embarrass ourselves? Is it something you “just don't do”?)
I am one of those empty people. What I hold on to, what makes me able to go on, is the wish to help others who feel like this. Because from experience I know that it gets so much easier when you can share it with someone who is the same. Someone who doesn't tell you to “snap out of it”.
Thanks to all the overdramatic wemo fjortisar (who frequent venues like Bilddagboken, fishing for sympathy) suicide is an issue that is today laughed at. It is not taken seriously. But it is real, and when will people wake up and realize that. It is real. And it is increasing for a reason.
Human conscience = we close our eyes to the things we don't want to see. Now I see why guys like the Joker and Jigsaw do what they do. A social experiment to make people wake up from their endless coma called life. To open their eyes. “Only when our lives are about to end do we find the strength to change” (The Day The Earth Stood Still). We are all going to die sooner or later, so who decides when? The politicians who's decisions everyday kill nameless people living on the street? The rapist/murderer maniacs who massacre families for fun? The suicidal teenager who jumps in front of a train? Their deaths are on the entire human conscience and we still keep our eyes tightly shut. When will we open them? When will we take the blame?
