"And if you are not aware of having a thought, is it legitimate to say that you are thinking?" - PA
"Not only is death the one true arbiter of happiness (Solon's remark), it is the only measurement by which we can judge life itself." - PA
"Drunkenness is never more than a symptom, not an absolute cause" - PA
"When anything can happen - that is the precise moment when words begin to fail" - PA
Paul Auster equals godlike in my eyes. Essay is going ok, a mess, but still, there are words. There's a document. It's on it's way.
New addictions acquired includes ice tea and kindereggs. Random, i guess. it's fun pulling strings.
Evangelion - philosophical perspectives on what humanity is. And who says anime isn't good? I'll kick your ass anytime.
Tents are the coziest thing ever, I've always thought so.
And waterpipe is seriously underestimated. I'm getting one. Help me relax between studying and studying. Man, if I had my own apartment. Incense, waterpipe, candles everywhere, wicca stuff, books, antique rug, indian pillows... just imagine the opium din. or the humble abode of a sherpa. or somewhat like Giles' apartment.
Life. And the turns it takes. Words fail. I'm still amazed at a hundred life times. At memories. Who knows the way? Are memories alive? Isn't it just like reading a book, reliving something? How some scents give you goosebumps, a shiver of pleasure, how a certain kind of music shape your state of mind...
Call me free today, if you see it my way
Time on my side as well as my mind is
It's not with you for sure, no not anymore
I intend to stay away for good
It's just a matter how I define
My state of mind
Today is a good day
Just a scratch on my ego
I get up in the morning
With a good plan tomorrow
I'll be keeping my mind cold
Until the evening
When the hours forget me and
The waiting awaits me
and voices of madness
from my subconscious
singing songs of the sadness
Today is a good day.
(anna ternheim)
good at the ideas, at the concept. creating an idea, a shell, imagining it. seeing the whole of it but not having the effort to complete it. wondering whether there is a job where you just have to hatch ideas, plotlines, creative projects, titles and have visions without having to complete it yourself. ghost writer? art director? something? and how do you become that? contacts, contacts. raining all day, raining on my empty head. looking out the window, trying to form the right words, avoid the brain melt writing an essay creates. trying to out-smart myself, go around the wires, find a way around all the gibberish, something incredible, a breakthrough. out-shine myself. but it's just an illusion, a shimmer in front of the screen, not real. is it ever.
the connection between two people. the eyes. the words. everyone is looking for something. aware of it or not, we are looking. this episode on loneliness really gives me the creeps. how people so desperately search, humiliate themselves. go out, put up this show, the neediness in their eyes. it's terrible. teasing and flirting in all honor, be careful to know what you're after. not everyone plays by the rules.
