Damn you Magda for bringing emo aesthetics back into my obsessed brain! I thought I had left this behind! Even if I no longer aspire for scene queen I still find it really adorable. And hot. And yummy. Ordered from Hottopic last night, yes, late night impulse buy. It was sale. The shipping is gonna assrape me.
Do we ever outgrow ourselves? How can one know when the cookie dough is done? I don't think I'll ever know when I'm an "adult". When I'm "grown-up". People talk about "grown-up points" etc, feeling good about themselves for getting a job, paying bills, getting an apartment and other grown-up stuff. I've been doing loads of grown-up stuff and I don't feel more like an adult just because I do "adult" stuff (read: boring). Paying bills suck. Being organized has its advantages. But, I don't see that as something exclusively adult. And I can't for the world understand people talking about "feeling more grown-up". What does that mean? More mature? Feeling good in one's own skin is one thing, but being "mature"? Come on, don't waste your lives on being grown-ups. Be responsible children instead!
Now why am I writing this? Well. I hate people telling other people (read: adults telling their children) "it's just a phase". Why can't it just be "a beautiful, desperate reaching out, an expression of self on the way to finding who you really are, whoever that might be"?
Is my life right now "just a phase"? When I decided to not care about the skeptic voices, did I just enter another "phase"? I don't know. But I love the journey.
