Give me a neverending night. The pretty lights of the city are turned on. You allow yourself to drop all the chores and all the homework and just sink back into your bed. Wrap yourself tightly in a blanket and watch the candles flicker in the dark room. Grasp for your iPod and listen to some melancholic acoustic song that makes your heart shiver while staring at the moving shadows in the ceiling. Looking out the window at the pretty lights of a city at night, wondering what is happening out there. How many are laughing? How many are crying? How many are sleeping? Just lying there, with the sad music in your ears and all the big thoughts in your head, you feel the tears slowly trickling down your cheeks, staring at the shadows in the ceiling. Give a neverending night. Let the world just stop. Stop at night. A lonely night with tears. Forever. I have grown so fond of these wonderful moments that it has become the highlight of my day. Now that Sara temporarily shares my bed, I miss them really much. There is no space to curl into a ball, and if I cried she would only ask what the matter with me is. There is no matter. It is just comforting to cry and hug your teddybear now and again. And think those thoughts that make your insides heave and your heart shiver. Yes, let it be night, let me just lie here and rest forever. These are the moments I love above all the others.
There are two experiences I wish I had. One is a UK high school. Inspiration: Yellowcard music. Ocean Avenue. Skating around with my emo/skater friends, lounging around at school, me and my emo crew. We would skip school and skate around town, smoke, laugh and eat jelly beans. Go to concerts, make trips to London and sometimes to the coast. Be outcasts at school but play pranks at the supposedly cool clique, harrass the chavs and laugh at the preps. Have crazy basement parties and cozy movie nights. We would be young and stupid but we knew we would always belong together. I guess you could call it a UK high school emo clique experience.
The other experience I would love to have is a US high school. Like One Tree Hill. And I would be Peyton. The alternative cheerleader who believes more in art and music than in stupid cheers.
But I will never have those experiences and thus I am left to fantasy. When I sleep, I dream and it gets me by...
